you may not know me, but I know everything about you (Psalm 139:1). I know when you sit down and when you rise up(Psalm 139:2), I am familiar with your ways (Psalm 139:3), even the very hairs on your head are numbered (Matt 10:29-31). For you were made in my image (Genesis 1:27). In me you live and move and have your being (Acts 17:28), for you are my offspring (Acts 17:28).

I knew you even before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5). I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12), You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book(Psalm 139:15-16). I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26). You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13), and brought you forth on the day you were born (Psalm 71:6).

I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me (John 8:41-44) I am not distant and angry, but I am the complete expression of love (1 John 4:16) and it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1) Simply because you are my child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1) I offer you more than your earthly father ever could (Matthew 7:11) For I am the perfect father (Matthew 5:48) Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand (James 1:17) For I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6:31-33)

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Because I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalms 139:17-18) And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) I will never stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40) For you are my treasured possession (Exodus 19:5) I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul (Jeremiah 32:41)

And I want to show you great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33:3) If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me (Deuteronomy 4:29) Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)
For it is I who gave you those desires (Philippians 2:13)

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3:20) For I am your greatest encourager (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17) I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you (Psalm 34:18) As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart (Isaiah 40:11)

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes (Revelation 21:3-4) And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth (Revelation 21:3-4) I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus (John 17:23) For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed (John 17:26) He is the exact representation of my being (Hebrews 1:3) He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8:31) And to tell you that I am not counting your sins (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you (1 John 4:10)
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love (Romans 8:31-32) If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me (1 John 2:23) And nothing will ever separate you from my love again (Romans 8:38-39)

Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15:7) I have always been Father, and will always be Father (Ephesians 3:14-15)

My question is, will you be my child? (John 1:12-13)
I am waiting for you (Luke 15:11-32)

Love,
Your Dad. Almighty God

I got off from work at 4PM yesterday. I was supposed to meet 3 people separately later that evening so while it was still early, I walked around the mall, drank a cup of coffee, read a book for about 3 hours. Two of them sent me text messages (the other one ignored me) to say that they were gonna meet me but for some reason, they didn’t. One had to be some place else that’s more important, and the other just suddenly stopped replying to my messages. I waited some more because I didn’t want all my waiting and effort to go to waste, but to no avail. By 9PM, I was on my way home.

I got even more ticked off while I was traveling. I gave the FX driver a 50peso bill, and while he was handing me back my change, he attempted to hold my hand. Actually, it felt more like a grip. So before he could completely lock my hand with his fingers, I snatched it away, knocking the coins down to the floor. I would’ve punched his face if that wasn’t such an offensive thing to do. I loathe disrepectful guys who take advantage of women.

And if that’s not enough, after I got off the FX, two jeepneys drove past in front of me without noticing me hailing for a ride. Finally, one stopped. But before I had completely gotten myself inside, it drove away hastily I got off-balanced, almost slipping off. It was so rude that I wanted to give the driver a piece of my mind. But before I could think of doing that I was already deep in thought on how it felt like I was a ghost right at that moment.

It was very strange, but it explains a lot of what happened last night. Most of the people I sent text messages to didn’t respond.. I was gonna meet some people but not one pushed through.. those two jeepneys ignored me on the street and the one — who didn’t — failed to notice that I wasn’t even halfway aboard yet.. and I even texted some more people when I got home but didn’t receive anything in return. I felt like I didn’t exist that I almost cried last night.

Yeah, maybe I just made a big deal out of what happened. But I couldn’t deny it, I got very very sad.

Then again, when I come to think of it, I also enjoyed my time walking, reading and drinking coffee alone. It reminded me a lot of what I used to do. I’ve always been some kind of a loner that’s why I value my “alone” times. It’s just that, last night was really disappointing and sad. And I just thought I’d blog about it. But I’m okay now so there’s nothing to worry about. And I’ve got a new Haruki Murakami book, so it’s all even. Haha. Man, that guy can write!

For someone who’s an introvert, I am often easily saddened and taken aback by the happenings/changes in my life. It’s just like the first week in college when I was crying every night because I couldn’t let go of my “high school” and I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I wasn’t gonna spend that much time with my batchmates anymore. And it’s like the time after college when I left home to find work in Manila and I spent all those nights alone in my cousin’s house crying because I kept missing everyone back home. And not only those lifestages, but some other significant things that took place. Yes, I could be such a crybaby. Ironic when I always wanna have something new in my life and yet I always have a hard time coping up with the changes that come with it.

However, I know of a remedy known to most as the most effective one: time.

Because after some time, I get over my issues and finally move on. It’s not always easy but it happens. And it’s not always easy looking back that road again because it reminds me a lot of how I used to feel, but after much more time I realize that I’m more callused that I think I am.

Above all, it’s always comforting to know that I have a God who never changes even if I and the things I hold dear constantly do. After everything that has happened in my life, after I’ve stubbornly refused to let go of things I’ve gotten used to, and after all the good and poor decisions I’ve made, He remains faithful.

I confess that at times I unconsciously shut Him out of my life. But like the stubborn God that He also is, He just keeps pushing Himself in. So I can be a worldclass coward-childish-crybaby as much as I want but in the end what matters the most is how I’m being comforted and assured by His presence. And He’s something no amount of confusion can change.

But of course it’s fine if you’re merely concerned with the other person.. but to constantly talk about it like it’s a plague or a contagious disease is something else. My point here is, it’s not that big a deal. There are other bigger things to worry about. And to rant about the “wrong” choices of other people and share them to yet another set of people is totally meaningless. Just leave as it is to be between God and that other person.

I learned about the common mistake people commit at a very young age… it’s proclamation of self-righteouness. It’s like proclaiming you are this and that when in fact you are living a life filled with lies and shame. So my suggestion is, try to go on living your life fixing your own problems rather than showing others how to deal with theirs. And if possible, try to keep matters to yourself. You don’t have to tell the world about the righteous life you’re living and go judging the world and making them feel like sh*t due to the way they’ve screwed up so bad. It doesn’t work that way at all.

But another question is, is it really that bad? Maybe it’ll all be better soon. Maybe God has a far better plan. Who are we to question his power and faithfulness? What kind of mind have we that we even attempt to understand his will?

I don’t know why exactly I am blogging about this.. and I initially have no intention of sounding too pensive. The point I’m driving at is.. if we could cut other people some slack, then let’s do. It’s always less harmful to offer the benefit of the doubt. And of course, there’s also God who never overlooks his children and never forgets to make all things better.

I was sooo glad to see one of my best friends from home. We spent our free time talking and eating together, then I took her to where she’s supposed to take her exam and waited. Afterwards, I came to see her again and took her to Galleria. It was so cool having her around at places that I don’t normally see her or any of my close friends from back home. Unfortunately, not long after that, her dad was calling from outside the mall. They had to go home the following day, so she couldn’t stay long. I joined her outside and said my goodbyes.

Seeing her go really made me sad. Somehow, I wished I could join her get on that Crosswind. So that right now, I could also be back home myself.

Blaming each other is what Pinoys do best. If you read the article linked above, you’ll see there the “versions” of various people on how the case should be handled, who to blame, and what the proper penalties are.

Don’t they see the point? It is not who’s responsible for the “accident” or the rightful punishment to whoever that must be taken into consideration. It’s the sad truth about the current situation of the Filipino people. A game show offering lots of prizes for everyone who doesn’t need to be anyone? It’s natural for thousands of hopeful Filipinos to respond to this. But why did they? Because poverty is written all over our country’s name, and for many, joining a gameshow, such as ‘Wowowee’ is a great opportunity, if not the last one, for them to possibly rise up from where they are. It’s about time the government makes a drastic move to save the Philippines. It’s about time the corrupt officials stop being selfish and actually see how they can help our nation’s problems.

Okay, I’m sounding very demanding here, when I, in fact, could not do anything more than complain about it. I’m just really sad as I come to learn more about this tragedy (at this hour in the morning!). And it’s sadder that I can’t do anything about it. I’ve (unconsciously) stopped seriously praying for the Philippines for a while now, and I think it’s time to be back on track. May we all find time to pray for our country. It’s the least we can do.

PS: Sensya sa super-serious mode. Hehe. Epekto ng Graveyard. Gtg home now. Bye.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28(KJV)

The above verse is one of my favorites, if not my most favorite. It’s always comforting for me to say this to myself over and over again especially in times when I am down.These words suddenly popped in my head this morning, when Riz and I were on our way to work. I’ve thought of it,along with thoughts on being late to work again, and the movie “Sliding Doors” (Haha, weird isn’t it?). And it made me think again: Is everything, every single thing, that’s happening in my life for my good? Even the hurts and problems? Do they count? Is the most inconceivable thing that could possibly take place in my life included in the list? Or even the simplest things, like, not making it to the first MRT trip or an earlier FX ride, or being cut in by someone in line so he gets to go first before me. Are those petty things significant?

I remember our pastor back home when he would consistently emphasize on the word “ALL” in his sermons. For instance, the verse Romans 8:28, he would open his Bible and read it as: “And we know that some things work together for good…”, and then he would pause and face the congregation with a questioning look on his face. “Some? No. ALL. All things work for our good.” And then I would see some (if not all?) of the people nod their heads in agreement. Hehe. That was one of his trademarks.

So how does a short word such as “all” mean so much? When God says “all”, he means ALL.

• All things work for the good of those who love God.
• For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom3:23)
• Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we askor imagine… (Eph 3:20)

Sometimes it’s really hard to understand the truth in His Word. Especially when you’re hurting or facing a seemingly impossible problem. You want to look ahead and see the truth but clouds of doubt get in the way. This is particularly true for me. So many’s uncertain in my life right now. You could say that, I’m walking through dark tunnels, playing with fire, and the likes. It’s hard this way coz I don’t know what’s gonna happen next, and the worry and anxiety sort of eats me up. There are times that I doubt His power, but I never doubt His love. And I know, deep inside, that ALL the things He allows to happen in my life, good or bad, small or big, is for my good. And then upon realizing that truth, I am made strong through His power and love.

The last few days had been hell, for that item stolen is of great importance and value. I’ve been struggling to forgive even though it’s not asked of me, to forgive myself for being so naive even though it’s not actually my fault, and to deal with my anger. I’ve been asking the Lord why this has happened.. why i have been constantly a victim of the cruelty of mankind (exag!).. why He has allowed the sin of others to affect me and bring me undeserved nuisance.. why of all times and all things, it was stolen at this crucial time in my life. I so badly needed it and what makes this worse is, it wasn’t mine, and yet I lost it. And now, i have to find a way to compensate for it. How more upset can i get?

In line with what happened, an old friend texted me to ask for my help in praying for that something important she needs to do. I told her, “Sure, I’ll pray for you. That is, if my prayers are actually heard..” I was rebuked for saying that. And more importantly, His Word comes to the rescue again. I don’t know how He does it. That every time my unbelief starts to kick in, He finds a way to speak.. just in time i begin to feel ignored.

Peter said, *”Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

What happened is not something strange. I am living in this earth, what did I expect? That every person I meet is nice just because he/she seems nice? That I actually expect fairness? That nothing’s supposed to go wrong because I am God’s child?

Then it’s a foolish expection.

“At all times, but especially in times of suffering, help me to fix my eyes on You, Lord Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the glory set before You endured the cross. Help me to consider You who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that I will not grow weary and lose heart when it comes my turn to carry a cross..”

So how is it to forgive someone who’s not asking for it and to reluctantly choose to just extend grace out of obedience to Him?

It’s a battle. But because I am His, I’m always on the winning side, ain’t I?

*1 Pet 4:12-13 (NIV)